problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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