Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
