It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
