turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
