I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
