doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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