i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
