I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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