I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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