Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
