ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
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We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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