i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
