i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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