Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
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omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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