I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize