My liver just broke up with me...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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