just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
