I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize