last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
