I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
