What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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