He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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