remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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