Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have aggressive nipples.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
