Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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