I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
