from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
