if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
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I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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