and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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