Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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