...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The beer is more important than you right now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
