Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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