would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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