My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The feeling are messing with the penis
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
