Please, let me fuck your mom
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i love accidental penises.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
