No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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