Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
