I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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