Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
