guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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