Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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