Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
