I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just saw a hot homeless man
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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