That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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