I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
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Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
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He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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