She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
