dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
