with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
