the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
