is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
