Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I faked an abortion last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
