i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
