yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
