Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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