Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
