We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
