I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My room smells like vodka and shame
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
