Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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