i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize