i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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