I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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