oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
