He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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