normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
