I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
